Up date: I just dyed my hair black.
Pictures will be up soon.
That is all.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Today I spent most of my time doing what all true Americans do on this great holiday we know as Independance Day; I sat on my ass and sold fireworks. This is fine. This is perfectly normal. What is not perfectly normal, however is the fact that this firework's stand is located in the great outdoors. If you know me at all you know that me and the outside world don't necessarily always get along. I mean sometimes we're civil to eachother, but sometimes we're downright rude bitches to one another. This is where the struggle begins me being rude to the mother earth, and the mother earth pissing all over me. Which is actually how the story begins in the first place, piss. As I stated earlier the fireworks stand is located in a giant tent in the middle of town surrounded by lots and lots of trees, but no public restroom. Whoever thought this was a bright idea, I would like to personally kill. It was eventually inevitable though I tried to hold it in for the last week that I have worked there, today on the busiest day of the year for an average fireworks stand, my bladder decided to shit out on me. So I leave the tent, and find a tree. This is not something I'm necessarily happy about. Peeing outside leaves a boy feeling very vunerable and slightly mortified. Although as I stated before this is truly where the conflict comes into play. Suddenly as I'm disposing of several liters of coca cola products I had consumed earlier in the day, my foot begins to burn with the intensity of a thousand midgets clawing their way out of a dumpster of ferrets. Or something equally as bad. At first, I freaked out because I thought I was peeing on my foot, and if that had happened I would have just had to cut it off. I can not walk around knowing that urine had ever been on my foot. But suddenly I realize that I am standing in a freaking ant pile. Gonads to the wind, and tiny insects scurrying up my leg biting the shit out of me. What excatly did I do to deserve this? I mean it's not like I'm dumping toxic waste here, I'm pretty sure urine is biodegradable right? To wrap things up, I finally zipped up my pants, and found another tree as I tried to rid my leg of said ants. All the time wondering if this is what started it all. Were our nations great forefathers peeing in the woods, and suddenly had a eureka that we should have own govermment? Or did they too get their limbs gnawed off by scurrying creatures? I guess we'll never know.
Posted by Jordan at Wednesday, July 05, 2006