Up.

Things are looking up. I've just recently made up with one of my best friends. (In relation to that note, if the other three of you are reading this site: fuck off.) My sister is graduating in two days. I'm still currently unemployed, but really who's trying to wallow in the misery here?

EDITORS NOTE: Happy 100th post to Postarita.

WE AIN'T GOT NONE

So I finally figured out that I need to move out of my parents house. Now before you all start on me that I'm twenty years old and still living at home, and am more than likely a pathetic individual, let me just go ahead and tell you that all of that is true. So, we don't need to argue about it okay? However, I've never wanted to move out as much as I did the other morning, when after not coming home untill four o clock in the morning, and stumbling into bed at around sixish, I was awoken at eight. Now normally I wouldn't wake up under my own vollition at such an ungodly hour, so the question arrises, what would make a boy suddenly awake at such a ridiculous time? Did his alarm go off? Did he have to pee? No, none of those are the answers. The answer is that my mother decided that eight in the morning was the perfect time to clean my room. Even though I neither needed or wanted a clean room, she decided that it was a fine idea. Cleaning my room consisted of beating a broom against my bed liberally for no apparent reason, and throwing all of my most prized shit away for again no apparent reason. This woman has no method to her madness. It fucking pissed me off. Well that's pretty much the whole story, but I think I'll ramble on and and on for a few moments while I have your attention.

Did I mention that someone crazed person found my site by searching for "vag-jay-jay"? Although I think this is a wonderful word and fully plan on utilizing it daily; I still don't see the need for looking it up on the interweb. So tell me person who found my site by searching for "vag-jay-jay", what exactly did you come hear hoping to find? Pictures of celebrity vagina perhaps? Well I hate to dissapoint but we ain't got none of that here. So sorry to upset you.

A Postarita by any other name:

I would just like to say that I was watching my all time favorite tv program tonight: "The Soup". And on it, he used the word vag-jay-jay. I'm assuming this is another word for cunt. Anyways I'd just like to say that vag-jay-jay, is my new favorite word. In fact I considered changing the name of my blog to "Vag-jay-jay" for about ten minutes. Until I realized someone might just call it "Vag-gay-gay" and since I'm not gay; that just wouldn't be good.


EDITORS NOTE:

I would just like to point out that in the coming months if you ever see a one liner posts with the word "DISCUSS" under it, all this means is that I sent a one liner text message to my blog via my cell phone, and I plan on elaborating on the post later once I get to my computer. This is not a discussion prompt for you to leave comments. Oh, what am I talking about? You people don't know how to leave comments. Silly me.

Quoted

So today me and my sister were watching one of those inane decorating shows on HGTV, and this crazy blonde bitch with a insane chin moke, started talking about her basement. She said that she couldn't wait to redo her basement into a game room. Conversation ensued.

Marilyn: Why would she make a game room out of a basement? It doesn't have any windows! It's completely dark down there! Instead she should make a nap room.
Me: A nap room?
Marilyn: Yes because some people like to play games, and some people like to take naps. If that was our house it would have to be a nap room, we're nap people.

Happy saturday! Dont ask me why theres just only so many things a boy can blog from his phone.

Actually hold up.

I just realized I really fucking love my new header. It's breathtaking. Let's all take a moment and bask in it's glory, shall we?

AHHH.

Feelings.

Sometimes it's good to take a step back from reality. Sometimes it's good to take a step back and find something you once enjoyed and pick it up again. Sometimes it's good to see where you came from, and how far you've come, even if you don't always know where it is exactly that you're going. Sometimes you just got to give things a chance. Sometimes certain people just bring out the best in me, and I love that. I love feeling like me. When I feel like I'm funny, or entertaining, or worthwhile I feel invincible. I feel unstoppable. I feel like Jordan, and there is no better feeling in the world than that.

New Header

Yet again, I got bored with the old one.

All I need for you to do is...

Admit you're wrong.

Because you know you are.

Pretty much says it all.

Sometimes life is just so fucking fucked up.

Hot Shit of The Month: Month Two

Welcome back to the second installment of "Jordan's Hot Shit of the Month", where Jordan tells you what is hot, and you all rush out to either download it, buy it, or have sex with it, immediately. So without further ado, let the hot shit begin.

Jordan's Hot Shit Song Pick of the Month:
Melee "You Make My Dreams Come True

from the album "Devils and Angels"

Jordan's Hot Shit Website Pick of the Month:

The Superficial

For all your pop culture needs. Whether it be topless pictures of Britney Spears, or tales of the rich, famous, and infinitely stupid, The Superficial has it all.

Jordan's Hot Shit T Shirt Pick of the Month:

FREE PARIS TEE.

Jordan's Hot Shit Friend Pick of the Month:

As some of you may know, I've been having some friend problems as of late, the problem being that I don't have any.

Well that's not exactly true, it's just that the number has gone down significantly in the last month. Anyways this month's winner has really pulled through for me. So congratulations to our winner: BRYANT.

Well that's pretty much it for the hot shit of the month of May. Tune in during June which most of you might know is the birthing season to see what hot shit I got that makes the list.

Quotable

"It's not the many in your life. It's the life in your many"- Mae West. (I have to be honest I don't know exactly who she is. But I think I loved her.

New Header

Enjoy bitches.

I used to.

I used to have some friends who I loved. I loved to see them laugh, and to make them laugh. I used to like our hours of conversation on the telephone. I used to cherish things, and I used to believe in friendship that lasts forever. And I used to believe that I would always feel that way. I don't think I feel that way anymore. I used to be a punching bag, and a sad excuse. I used to be a walking joke, and a free therapist. I used to be a call away and a "Hey drop the rest of your life and pay attention to me" kind of person. I used to be tried and true, loyal to the core. I used to think I'd never be alright if something happened. But that is who I used to be. I'm not the same person that I used to be. I'm not that person who will run back to you when you change your mind. I'm not that person who forgives and forgets. I'm not that person who can put the past behind me and move on with our lives and a new friendship. I'm just not that Jordan anymore. But I used to be, and you took that away from me. And for that I will never forgive you.

So excited.

The bitch is back.