Heads Up

I promise that this month's "Hot Shit of the Month" will be posted before the end of the month. It just seems that Jordan can't find any thing suitable for "Jordan's Hot Shit of The Month" as soon as I do though I'll let you know.

43 things

These are the fourty three things that I want to accomplish in my life as of now.


What are your fourty three things?

Friday 5 Week One

Everybody's doing it, and since I don't have a single original thought of my own, I thought I'd do it as well. So welcome to the first week of Friday5 :


1.If you get the first choice of Monopoly tokens, which do you choose? If someone else chooses it first, which is your second choice?
The car absolutely, just because it's so phallic and stupid looking. It's so "Oh yeah like I'm going to believe a car with a hood the size of Montana is going to be able to run correctly." My second choice is the shoe.

2.What’s a board game you are especially bad at?
To be honest usually Monopoly, because I get all into it in the beginning, and I've got all this fake colored money. And then eventually I get bored and just start giving it all away to whomever I'm playing with. Which let me tell you isn't good for fake business.

3.What board game are you particularly good at?
The game of Life. But only the cardboard and plastic one, that other one I'm pretty much sucking at so far.

4.How competitive do you get while playing board games or party games?
Depends on who I'm playing. If I'm playing with my grandmother (which happens more often than I'd like to admit), not competitive because when she loses she's mean, and I try to make that never happen.

5.What’s your favorite board game? What’s a board game you can’t stand?
I love scrabble, even though I'm not really good at it. I cannot stand Clue, or Risk, or Parcheesi, ew.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe inside, I'm still freaking out? Did it ever occur to you that I might still be reeling from the fact that I had nearly killed myself for four years doing everything to be a good firend for you. And then one dday, you decided that

To write, or not to write?

I read a post at Red Brick Everything today which made me think. When I started Postarita, I never thought about it as my own personal journal. I just wanted a new site to write on. I never considered writing my deepest darkest emotions and have them read by the wide world inter web, on a regular basis. But I have, and people do, on a regular basis (in fact almost 900 hits, in the last two months!). Which brings me to the question, am I getting too personal? Should I leave well enough alone, and save something for myself? Am I wrong to write public letters on here for friends, and ex-friends of mine to read at their own leisure? Am I wrong to write exactly how I'm feeling and let people read it rather than just writing it for myself, or not writing at all and just keep it to myself? Comments are open people, I need opinions.

Bare my soul, and keep writing my feelings?
or
Keep it to my damn self?

Remember that which you don't write, no one can hold against you. I've learned that one the hard way folks.

Why can't you?

This is a list of "Why can't you?" questions to a bunch of people in my life. All people will remain anonymous you know who you are.

Why can't you just grow up?
Why can't you move on?
Why can't you let me move on?
Why can't you stop being such a immature son of a bitch? (Hint!, Hint!)
Why can't you let things go?
Why can't you mind your own fucking business?
Why can't you stop pretending I'm this awful person, when you know I'm not?
Why can't you stop calling so fucking much? (No, seriously on this one)

My Own Holiday

Is it possible for Father's Day, make you actually want to become a father? I can't wait until I become a Dad, I don't care if I have to knock up a complete stranger, or become a sperm doner. I just need to know that there's someone out there more important to me than myself. I need to have that one person who means more to me then the world. Also I would like a holiday completely dedicated to me. Much for the same reasons that as a child I couldn't understand why my birthday wasn't premarked in ever calender sold in North America. Come to think of it, I still can't understand why that's not happening.

Late Nights and Bad Jokes.

We at two o clock in the am see a truck leaving it's house. Conversation ensues.

I: "Two O clock, and he's just leaving...I think someone's going to get himself a prostitute."
He: "Maybe two"
I: "What does a man do with two prostitutes at once?"
He: "The same thing with the first one only twice"


Badaching!

Colors of the fucking wind.

Color me pissed the fuck off.

Imagine all the people gouging out their ear canals.

I'm not sure if you know or not but some record label has decided to make a tribute cd to John Lennon. Other artists will sing his songs and all proceeds will go to some charity that I'm sure I've never heard of. I would post a link but I can't remember the name of it to look it up, and let's be honest none of you are going to buy it anyway.

But anyhow, when creating this cd I imagine that they created a committee that would decide the artists and the songs that they would cover which would create the best John Lennon tribute album in the history of all time. I'm pretty sure it wasn't that hard, seeing as how I'm pretty sure this might be the only John Lennon Tribute album ever recorded anyway. However someone on the committee decided that the song "Imagine" should be covered, which let's be honest is the only John Lennon song that pretty much anyone knows anyway (unless it's from the Beatles which doesn't count because no one can ever remember who wrote which songs in that band anyways, I'm a McCartney fan so I attribute them all to him.) So Imagine is a good choice, it's a great choice, and it would be a great song to cover if they picked the right artist. But they did not pick the right artist. As far as I'm concerned M.C. Hammer would have made a better choice than the person they chose to cover a beautiful song about world peace. Conversation in the boardroom ensued:

Committee Chairman: "So you guys, who should cover "Imagine"? It should be someone with a strong voice, and a strong sense of what the song means so that he or she can really sell the meaning. We would never want to pick someone that would make a mockery of such a beautiful song. Any suggestions?

Committee Member: "How about Avril Lavigne?, I hear she doesn't like my girlfriend."

Committee Chairman: "That's fucking perfect!"


Conversation ends.

So yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen, they let Avril Lavinge cover one of the most beautiful songs ever written. If you would like to hear the holocaust to the ears that is Mrs. Lavigne's rendition feel free to click below. Although never say I didn't give you proper warning.


Avril Lavigne- Imagine

Editors Note: I actually almost, sort of, kinda like Avril Lavinge, but I also love "Imagine" much more and I won't albeit the mistreating of it.

Rememberance

Marilyn Anne Barrow
June 14th 2005.

And I still miss you.

Oy Ve.

Her: "What's a Yeti?"
Me: "It's like Bigfoot."
Her: "Oh...I thought it had something to do with being Jewish."
Me: "Thats it, you are no longer allowed to watch reruns of "Yentil" on ABC Family."

Envy me.

Tomorrow I have an interview for a job I desperately want. This job is a dream job. Really good money, and almost no work. I don't think you all comprehend how much I like "no work". This job is perfect for me. I would love to make a lot of money and sit and do nothing but listen to my ipod and call people on my cell phone...and get this....the job I'm applying for actually lets you do that! This is a great, great thing. Which just goes to prove that great things happen to people who sit on their ass and complain about their lives. Just look at me I'm the American Dream.

Drafted

I wrote a huge post just now that was basically me being the whiny emotional trainwreck that I am. But instead I just saved it as a draft so I could spare you all the bore.


You are so very welcome.

I had a fun idea, that I thought I would share with all of you. I'm sorry to say but I'm going to create one of my very own tag surveys. You know the kind where you post some inane "soundtrack of your life!, or twenty things you love!, or nine pe

To Whom It May Concern

When I write angsty Dear John, letters on my blog I like to be as ambiguous as possible. I like for the people who actually know me not to be able to tell whether or not I'm writing about them or not. Let's just get this straight, if you think it's about you it probably is. If you have a guilty conscience, then you already know what you did. I don't have to repeat myself over and over. But I'm going to anyways. This one won't be so ambiguous because it talks about specific events that a specific someone will know all about. So here it goes.



I want to say thank you for calling me today. I know you probably didn't want to, but I also think you thought it was the right thing to do. And that shows me that maybe just maybe you might be actually growing up. I don't want to hold my breath or anything, but you never know stranger things have occurred. I also want to thank you for making small talk with me for a few minutes. For a few moments it almost seemed like old times. Maybe it wasn't a ruined friendship maybe it was just a two month vacation that I never booked for myself. But either way, it was nice. But what I'm about to say is not. You said you'd call back, and I don't expect you too, more so I'm not sure that I want you too. I know that sounds bad, and childish maybe but I just don't think I can put myself through that again. I can't talk to you, and hope that maybe just maybe you would "forgive me" for something no one but you is even sure I'm guilty of. I don't want to have those short awkward conversations that lead into hanging out, that lead into drunken phone calls in the middle of the night, that lead into hurt feelings and me being left out. I can't do that again, so I'd rather that you just don't. Just do me a favor and spare me the drama.

That being said it was nice to hear your voice, and it was nice to know that you're not spiraling out of control or anything. I want you to know that even though our friendship didn't work out, I really do wish you the best. I really do hope you find love, and happiness, and lots of new Britney Spears material. I really do (although the Britney Spears thing is just as much for me as it is you.) I wish you no ill, and maybe one day we can have a conversation about what went wrong, but that day can't be today. And it can't be tomorrow or sometime next month. It has to be on my terms, and it has to be when I'm ready, and to be honest I'm not sure I ever will be. But that being said, if ever there comes a time in your life when you can't trust anyone, and you have no one to turn to, you can talk to me. And even if we're not talking then, you can call me up and I'll do my best to help you through. It's what I know how to do, and I'll do it again to the best of my abilities. You are one of the best and worst things that has ever happened to me. I can credit you with changing me a lot, some for the better some for the worse. You can make me laugh like no one can. And I miss that, I hope you know. I know I'm just rambling on and on now, but some times these things are like a stream of conscience. Once you get your fingers to the keys you're never really sure of what may or may not come out. I hope you don't get angered or anything of the like when you read this because it wasn't my intention at all. I just needed to let you know some things, and I couldn't think of any other way to say them. But I guess what I really want to say is thank you. So thanks.



Hope you're well,

Jordan

I've picked the weeds, but kept the flowers.

I have always been a firm believer that if you think positively, the outcome will be positive. If you try to be happy, eventually you'll convince yourself that you are. So that's exactly what I've always done. I've always "I'm fine'd" everyone to death. I've always smiled and never looked anyone in the eye, and I'm tired of living this way. I'm tired of saying one thing, but feeling another. I'm not trying to say that I'm in a depression or anything, because that definitely isn't the case. But I feel like for the past three or four years something has just been missing from my life. So I friend hop, and I job hop, and I do bad things looking for the one thing I feel like I'm missing, and I never find it, and I'm tired of searching.

I'm tired of saying "yes" when I feel like saying "no"; I'm tired of just living my life, when I want to be living out my dreams. I'm tired of being who you want me to be, when you want me to be it, and where you want me to be at. I just turned twenty one years old today, I am supposed to be a grown man, but instead I just feel like a boy. A boy who's not always sure of himself, a boy who doesn't always know what exactly it is that he wants. A boy who still hasn't got it figured all out yet. And that scares the shit out of me. I'm twenty one, aren't things supposed to be clear to me by now? What to I have to do? Do I need to start going to church? Do I need to stop cussing and smoking so much? Do I need to renounce Britney Spears? Look, I might be willing to do all of those (except maybe the Britney Spears thing), if it would mean that I would know my place in the world. All I'm looking for is a sign, an answer. Anything really. And I'm hoping someone out there can give it to me.

Editor's Note: I'm also tired of people berrating me for my over and incorrect use of commas and semicolons. If you happen to have a problem with either of the abformentioned grammatical errors, fuck off.

I like the word influx

For some reason in the last twenty four hours Postarita has received an influx of visitors. Maybe it's a birthday present?

Either way make sure to leave some comments bitches.

Growing Down

As most of us know my birthday is fast approaching only hours away in fact. And things much be changing for me because I just for the first time ever willingly drank a glass of iced tea. Without forced durres, do you people get the severity of this decision? I am growing up I'm telling you. I am fucking growing up.

Full House

Her: "So I was watching a rerun of E.R. today, and did you know they let John Stamos on that show?"
Me: "I've never seen an epsiode of E.R. ever. But Uncle Jesse really? The one with the mullet? Would you really let him cut into you?"
Her: "Better him than Uncle Joey."

An illness

Do you suffer from Beyonceitis?

This is some funny shit. Excerpt:
"Ashanti:
Before Beyonceitis crippled her, Ashanti enjoyed a brief period as "The Princess of Hip-Hop Soul", which was an easy title to achieve mainly because:
1. There was no other artists to dispute her at the time.
2. Her record label gave her the title. "

All things right themselves in time.

Today I was thinking how often things come full circle for me. Bad things that I messed up further, eventually work themselves out. Someone you love turns into someone you hate, who in turn morphs back into someone you love again. It's funny how it happens when you just leave things alone and let them happen in their own time.

Another lesson learned.

Soundtrack of my life

Okay, unlike Kelli, I actually always do these things...I'm pathetic.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you’re cool...

Opening Credits: "Tell Me Something Good" -Pink

Waking Up: "Stuck"- Stacie Orrico...no way the first line of the song is "I can't get out of bed today" that's fucking awesome.

First Day Of School:"Extraordinary"- Mandy Moore

Falling In Love: "Sunday Kind of Love"- Etta James. No fucking way, that's awesome.

Fight Song:"This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"- Fall Out Boy

Breaking Up:" How Does It Feel To Be Free"- Reba Mcentire. No Joke, I don't even know the fucking song it's just in my library because it's Reba. That's fucking weird.

Prom:"Fidelity"- Regina Spektor

Mental Breakdown: "Can't Touch This" MC Hammer. Haha.

Driving: "Pachabel's Canon in D Major"-Bach

Flashback:"Ruby SoHo" Rancid

Getting Back Together:"It Matters To Me" Faith Hill

Wedding: "I love Rock and Roll" Joan Jett. (This happens to be appropriate because just yesterday I was telling someone how I want to have a Rock and Roll Vegas style wedding where I rapel in from a balcony to a song of my choice, and then instead of me and my bride walking back down the aisle after the ceremony I want us to be able to disappear in a ball of smoke. Like fucking magic)

Birth Of Child:"Ray of Light"-Madonna (Okay so I kind of cheated on this one, because it is about a birth)

Final Battle: "Hooker"-Pink

Killing Bad Dude: "Bye, Bye, Bye" - Nsync (Dude I didn't even know I still had this. I reall gotta clean out my music)

Victory Song:"Happy" - Saving Jane

End Credits:" Redneck Woman" Gretchen Wilson. Well that's just fucking perfect.

I would tag some people but no one that I know reads this fucking thing.

The Birthing Season Approaches

I turn twenty one on Tuesday in case you were wondering. If you feel like you're going to be busy that day, you can go ahead and wish me a happy birthing season now. Go ahead.