A Prelude to 4 Things: "Oh Why, Oh Why, Oh, Why, Oh Did I Ever Leave Ohio?"

I know that things have been quiet here for quite some time, and I apologize about that.  I have many things to discuss with you as soon as finals are over in a week.

Topics we should discuss:

1. My trip to Cleveland
2. Why I was an unattractive twelve year old
3. How my new Gap sweater implies that I have a vagina when I'm wearing it
4. How I've consumed an unwieldy amount of calories in the past two weeks.  Seriously, you would be appalled. Yesterday I had not one Hostess product, but two; and they did not come in the same package. 
5. How I'm submitting a portfolio for both the McNeese Contraband, and a local magazine so I can score some freelance work
6. How Arlene and Jefferey changed my life

I'll see you in a week, though if you were wise I wouldn't hold me to a strict time frame.