Thursday, February 28, 2008
Stop it, right now please
If one more fucking person finds this site by searching for "Beyonce Pussy" I swear to God, I'm going to cut someone. And I know that this post only will increase the incidences of this happening, still that shit needs to be put out there.
On Being Okay
Today I realized that I might actually have a real relationship with my father. Not one of those typical Louisianian father/son relationships where we scratch ourselves and shoot wild animals. But maybe one where two people can talk about things, real things. Maybe something more like friendship I think he might even actually trust me with his secrets. And it feels okay. It makes me realize that maybe you're friends aren't the ones you pick for yourself, but maybe just maybe can be the ones you were born with. And in my unstable life where I never really know who I am, or who my friends are from day to day I know that maybe I have someone to count on anyways. And that's okay.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
NEW HEADER NEW HEADER NEW HEADER
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE MY NEW HEADER? BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH MY NEW HEADER! WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE MY NEW HEADER? THEN FUCK OFF.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Extra! Extra!
I haven't written much this week, I guess there's just not that much to say. But I am writing right now to tell you that very soon something pretty cool, that I'm excited about will be happening here. So stay tuned for that.
Did i really just make a post plugging my own site? That is so self promoting of me, can you even handle it?
Did i really just make a post plugging my own site? That is so self promoting of me, can you even handle it?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Fuck a Valentine
Originally I was going to post a list of the "Hot Shit of the Month" for February including a list of things to get your Valentine's holiday going. But instead I'm going to bitch and moan for a while, if you don't mind. And if you do mind, get the fuck off of my site.
So anyways, I was just watching the local news and as a special Valentine's report they were talking about love and such. They were stating some inane facts and during they said "it has been scientifically proven that those in a loving relationship, have better heart health and tend to live longer lives"
This is such fucking bullshit. You know as if there wasn't enough fucking pressure in this world for people to mate for life, now they're telling us that if we don't settle down our arteries will clog, and we'll die and finally end our loveless exsistences? Well, I won't stand for all of this propoganda. You know I used to think it was just middle aged women who felt all of this pressure to settle down and get married. But now I realize, it's everywhere, and everyone is affected by it. Biological clock, or not its as if the world is telling us that if we don't get hitched soon we might as well count ourselves out because single people DON'T MATTER.
Is it really true that you're nobody untill somebody loves you? And if that is true, what if no one ever does? What if we go our entire lives without finding true love like my aunt Peggy, and just live by ourselves and live horrible, lonely lives? Is that so bad? I mean, I'm not sure it's what I want. But really, are we really incomplete if we don't fit into this standard that the world is telling us is right? I am so enraged (sadly, not engaged) right now. It makes me sick. It really does.
And if you can't relate to any of this because you are in a relationship, well then you can suck it.
So anyways, I was just watching the local news and as a special Valentine's report they were talking about love and such. They were stating some inane facts and during they said "it has been scientifically proven that those in a loving relationship, have better heart health and tend to live longer lives"
This is such fucking bullshit. You know as if there wasn't enough fucking pressure in this world for people to mate for life, now they're telling us that if we don't settle down our arteries will clog, and we'll die and finally end our loveless exsistences? Well, I won't stand for all of this propoganda. You know I used to think it was just middle aged women who felt all of this pressure to settle down and get married. But now I realize, it's everywhere, and everyone is affected by it. Biological clock, or not its as if the world is telling us that if we don't get hitched soon we might as well count ourselves out because single people DON'T MATTER.
Is it really true that you're nobody untill somebody loves you? And if that is true, what if no one ever does? What if we go our entire lives without finding true love like my aunt Peggy, and just live by ourselves and live horrible, lonely lives? Is that so bad? I mean, I'm not sure it's what I want. But really, are we really incomplete if we don't fit into this standard that the world is telling us is right? I am so enraged (sadly, not engaged) right now. It makes me sick. It really does.
And if you can't relate to any of this because you are in a relationship, well then you can suck it.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
REBAPALOOZA 2008
As some of you might already know last week I attended the Bossier City date of the "Two Worlds, Two Voices Tour" featuring Reba Mcentire and Kelly Clarkson. This was my fourth time seeing Reba, and my first for Kelly. It was an amazing show, Reba always puts on a great show though, so it's to be expected.
The first time I saw her was when I was six months old, and although I don't remember it my love for her was fostered then I believe. I saw her again when I was about seven or eight when my parents surprised me with tickets on the day of the concert. I last saw her in Houston with my sister (who is now a bigger fan than I am.) It was good, but we were super far away, and Reba was wearing some bad pink pants. I hated those pants, and I'm pretty sure the general concensous after the concert was "She has an amazing voice, but what the fuck was up with those pants?" Or at least thats how it seemed to me. But this time we were pretty close, and it was just simply amazing. I'm still a little speechless. Reba has always been such a huge icon to me. I've always looked up to her. She's just a normal woman, who did amazing things. No drama, no ordeals, just a lot of talent and drive. Thats a big deal for me. But enough with my memories and inane musings. Let's get down to the dirty. Here are a lot of pictures I'm not labeling them, no further information for you. Just the pictures.
Thank you and good night.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Correspondence
To: you know who you are,
If you ever needed a friend who was there too much, I should be your first pick. If you ever needed a friend who is going to support your choices no matter how asinine they may be you should give me a call. If you ever need a friend to go along with your crazy schemes you should put me in your daily planner. If you ever needed someone to be a spring board for all your crazy dreams, and wishes you can jump on me.
But if you ever needed a door mat, I'm there for that too I guess. If you ever needed someone to stand by your side through whatever only to betray me ten years later then I guess I'm the kind of person you could do that to also. If material possessions are more important to you then loyalty and friendship, then keep me in mind. Because apparently I'm your man. I'm the one you can walk for miles with and wax poetically about your horrible lot in life with. I would listen and I think you know that. But apparently these things are not enough for you. Well, I hope it's all worth it in the end.
I hope you don't find yourself all alone. I really don't. Because even though I know you didn't make the choice for yourself, you didn't do anything to stop it either. You didn't do anything to stand up for your friend of ten years. You just sat there and took it. You just let them deny you people who are only there to support your choices, and your happiness. But you let them take that away from you. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry that you can't think for yourself apparently. I'm sorry that you don't have it in you to stand up and fight for who you believe in. I'm sorry, and I really hope that those four walls are worth all the trouble. I hope that kitchen counter listens to you in the middle of the night when you think things just can't get any worse. And I hope that bookshelf says comforting things to you about your past. I hope it does. Because I guess you know that I never will again.
Yours,
Signed Jordan
If you ever needed a friend who was there too much, I should be your first pick. If you ever needed a friend who is going to support your choices no matter how asinine they may be you should give me a call. If you ever need a friend to go along with your crazy schemes you should put me in your daily planner. If you ever needed someone to be a spring board for all your crazy dreams, and wishes you can jump on me.
But if you ever needed a door mat, I'm there for that too I guess. If you ever needed someone to stand by your side through whatever only to betray me ten years later then I guess I'm the kind of person you could do that to also. If material possessions are more important to you then loyalty and friendship, then keep me in mind. Because apparently I'm your man. I'm the one you can walk for miles with and wax poetically about your horrible lot in life with. I would listen and I think you know that. But apparently these things are not enough for you. Well, I hope it's all worth it in the end.
I hope you don't find yourself all alone. I really don't. Because even though I know you didn't make the choice for yourself, you didn't do anything to stop it either. You didn't do anything to stand up for your friend of ten years. You just sat there and took it. You just let them deny you people who are only there to support your choices, and your happiness. But you let them take that away from you. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry that you can't think for yourself apparently. I'm sorry that you don't have it in you to stand up and fight for who you believe in. I'm sorry, and I really hope that those four walls are worth all the trouble. I hope that kitchen counter listens to you in the middle of the night when you think things just can't get any worse. And I hope that bookshelf says comforting things to you about your past. I hope it does. Because I guess you know that I never will again.
Yours,
Signed Jordan
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Learning Curve
Tonight I learned that it's okay to sometimes be blunt, maybe some times even too honest. I learned that it's okay to try to protect the ones you love from ever getting hurt. Sometimes its even okay to be shielded from the darker things. Especially if someone you love understands this too.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
No fucking way.
So we got this new computer a few weeks ago right? Well my dad decided that he was going to fucking put parental controls on my fucking screen name. I can't even see my own fucking website. What the fuck?
Stop the fucking madness.
I will find a way out of this.
Stop the fucking madness.
I will find a way out of this.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Beyonce Is Still Slinging That Pussy For Money
I would just like to say to whomever it was that searched on google for "Beyonce Fried Chicken" and found my site, that I think we need to discuss.
Also, I just recently found out that my site is the first thing that comes up when one searches for "Beyonce Fried Chicken" on Google. I think my work here is done.
Also, I just recently found out that my site is the first thing that comes up when one searches for "Beyonce Fried Chicken" on Google. I think my work here is done.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The People I See
She comes in every other day or so to buy cigarettes. She has thick curly auburn hair, that is slowly graying at the ends. She wears tattered and neglected clothing, and large spectacles that she wears around her neck on a golden chain. She always gets the same thing, and she always says the same thing. She always sighs loudly as soon as she puts her bag down on the counter and accepts the cigarettes. She looks sad, I ask how she's doing. She always says that her husband and son died recently only a week apart. She says she's finding it to be hard to thing to cope with. I always say I'm sorry to hear that, and she always pats my hand where it's laying on the counter, and says "thank you, baby" and then she leaves. And I don't see her for a few days, and the script is the same. It's always the same. I find myself wondering what it is that she does in between buying cigarettes at my store. Does she sit at home, lighting up, inhaling and thinking of the past? Does she watch the television, and with every face she sees recognizes the features from her departed family? Does she wake up in the morning wondering how she's going to make it through one more day? I don't know any of these things. All I know is that she smokes Misty Ultra Light 100's and as many as she can get. I just hope they make her feel better.
He's shorter with darker skin, and a shuffling gait about him. He comes in every single day, sometimes more than once. Sometimes more than twice. He smells strongly of booze and stale smoke (or so I've heard, I really would have no idea). He sexually harasses every single woman who passes him by. He talks long windedly about his son, and his business. Neither of which I care very much about. But he always says these things, and I always feign interest. He somehow always manage to bring up God. I smile weakly, and hope that he'll leave soon. He always calls me Bub. I'm not sure why. He once picked a discarded pair of thong underwear that someone for some reason discarded in the parking lot. He held them to close to my face, asking me to do something with them. Not wanting to touch them, I held up the trash can underneath them and let him drop them into the waste. He says "Thanks Bub, I didn't know what I was going to do with those" and then leaves. I don't know why he felt that the needed to anything about the discarded pair. Provably the same reason he feels the need to talk about his children with me. I for one will probably never know.
I find it so weird that people like this can walk in and out of your lives ddaily. No backstory, no subtle foreshadowing, no futher information. All I know about their lives is what happens inside the walls of the establishment. I will never know how well she sleeps, or how much booze he downs. I will never know, mabye I don't even care to know. But oddly enough, I think I do care for them. Even if only slightly. I always kind of feel that we care too much about ourselves, and our friends, and our family. Never enough about strangers. About those people who walk in and out of our lives so quickly. I know I care, because I've always thought about them. I've always tried to see things in their perspectives. I've always wondered what it would be like to be one of them. i have always wondered, but I guess I'll never know. Because I'm myself, and no one else. There is no mystery in myself. I know everything already. And that is a shame.
He's shorter with darker skin, and a shuffling gait about him. He comes in every single day, sometimes more than once. Sometimes more than twice. He smells strongly of booze and stale smoke (or so I've heard, I really would have no idea). He sexually harasses every single woman who passes him by. He talks long windedly about his son, and his business. Neither of which I care very much about. But he always says these things, and I always feign interest. He somehow always manage to bring up God. I smile weakly, and hope that he'll leave soon. He always calls me Bub. I'm not sure why. He once picked a discarded pair of thong underwear that someone for some reason discarded in the parking lot. He held them to close to my face, asking me to do something with them. Not wanting to touch them, I held up the trash can underneath them and let him drop them into the waste. He says "Thanks Bub, I didn't know what I was going to do with those" and then leaves. I don't know why he felt that the needed to anything about the discarded pair. Provably the same reason he feels the need to talk about his children with me. I for one will probably never know.
I find it so weird that people like this can walk in and out of your lives ddaily. No backstory, no subtle foreshadowing, no futher information. All I know about their lives is what happens inside the walls of the establishment. I will never know how well she sleeps, or how much booze he downs. I will never know, mabye I don't even care to know. But oddly enough, I think I do care for them. Even if only slightly. I always kind of feel that we care too much about ourselves, and our friends, and our family. Never enough about strangers. About those people who walk in and out of our lives so quickly. I know I care, because I've always thought about them. I've always tried to see things in their perspectives. I've always wondered what it would be like to be one of them. i have always wondered, but I guess I'll never know. Because I'm myself, and no one else. There is no mystery in myself. I know everything already. And that is a shame.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Then and Now
Last Week
Number of cigarettes smoked: 1,000,000 (feels like)
Number of bottles of Alchool purchased for someone else: 2
Number of dollars spent at "Books and Things": $28
Number of dollars almost spent at "Books and Things": $48 (I didn't look at any prices)
Number of times accidentally stumbled upon Hannah Montana songs on the radio: 30,000
Number of times actually found myself kind of liking Hannah Montana songs accidentally found on the radio: at least four
Number of hours spent at police station: 1 and a 1/2
Number of times gone to Sulphur: twice
Number of minutes spent fantasizing about Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson concert this weekend: TOO FUCKING MANY
Number of times meant to buy batteries for camera: 12
Number of Batteries actually purchased: 0
This Week;
I will try to cut back on the smoking, really. My lungs will thank me I'm sure.
Try to write more.
Finish reading the books I bought before I got and buy some more. I'm bad about that. Never finishing what I started.
Try to not like Hannah Montana, at least a little bit.
Will more than likely cry tears of joy when Reba McEntire sings "You Lie", or "Whoevers in New England"
Try not to make fat jokes about Kelly Clarkson at the concert.
Number of cigarettes smoked: 1,000,000 (feels like)
Number of bottles of Alchool purchased for someone else: 2
Number of dollars spent at "Books and Things": $28
Number of dollars almost spent at "Books and Things": $48 (I didn't look at any prices)
Number of times accidentally stumbled upon Hannah Montana songs on the radio: 30,000
Number of times actually found myself kind of liking Hannah Montana songs accidentally found on the radio: at least four
Number of hours spent at police station: 1 and a 1/2
Number of times gone to Sulphur: twice
Number of minutes spent fantasizing about Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson concert this weekend: TOO FUCKING MANY
Number of times meant to buy batteries for camera: 12
Number of Batteries actually purchased: 0
This Week;
I will try to cut back on the smoking, really. My lungs will thank me I'm sure.
Try to write more.
Finish reading the books I bought before I got and buy some more. I'm bad about that. Never finishing what I started.
Try to not like Hannah Montana, at least a little bit.
Will more than likely cry tears of joy when Reba McEntire sings "You Lie", or "Whoevers in New England"
Try not to make fat jokes about Kelly Clarkson at the concert.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Fuck Food Seriously
Sometimes I cook, you may be surprised to learn. You know easy things like pastas and roasted chickens and such. Sometimes I bake cookies, and cakes and such. It's fun. It's invigorating, I even once made a turtle cheesecake. It was delicious. So today when my father was all "I really want to try to make a chocolate souffle" I was all "Hey! I'll do it, I can totally do it!" So I looked up this recipe from the Food Network's website. This didn't look hard. Sure it said you had to be an 'intermediate' cook to fulfill the task but hey I'm twenty one years old! I can make more than a paltry ramen noodle cup! I can totally do this! Well let me just tell you; I can totally NOT do this. It is so unfunny how much I can't do this that you can't even begin to relate. So fuck you FoodNetwork for labeling your recipes "intermediate" when they should be labeled "DON'T FUCKING TRY THIS IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT THAT SHIT TO BE EDIBLE" Because trust me, it was NOT edible. So yes food network fuck you. Fuck you Rachel Ray, and Emeril Lagasse, Fuck you too Paula Deen. But not you Giada Delaurentous (or however you spell her god damned name) there is a special place in my heart for you Giada.
Also, I would have updated Daily Photos tonight, but my batteries for my camera are buck. I was going to detail a sordid sexual scandal (ALLITERATION!) on the secret lives of chocolate flavored Teddy Grams but it just wasn't in the cards I guess.
Also, has anyone noticed how my blog has had like nine food mentions in the past week? This must mean I'm getting fat again. God damn it.
Also, I would have updated Daily Photos tonight, but my batteries for my camera are buck. I was going to detail a sordid sexual scandal (ALLITERATION!) on the secret lives of chocolate flavored Teddy Grams but it just wasn't in the cards I guess.
Also, has anyone noticed how my blog has had like nine food mentions in the past week? This must mean I'm getting fat again. God damn it.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Hot Shit Right Hurr
Just as a quick update, and not a full on out and out explanation of the hottest shit of the month I would like to tell you about two amazing things.
First of all, go buy or download, or steal, "Futurama: Bender's Big Score". It's amazing, and I'm not really one for cartoons, or movies. But it's the only cartoon I've ever seen that can make me laugh hysterically and then make me want to cry the next. It's some emotional shit y'all.
Also download the track "I'll Still Be Loving You" by Reba Mcentire. It's a cover of a song by a band I can't remember the name of but it's an amazing rendition. Or you can buy the EP entitled "Love Revival" at Hallmark I think.
Enjoy this shit y'all.
First of all, go buy or download, or steal, "Futurama: Bender's Big Score". It's amazing, and I'm not really one for cartoons, or movies. But it's the only cartoon I've ever seen that can make me laugh hysterically and then make me want to cry the next. It's some emotional shit y'all.
Also download the track "I'll Still Be Loving You" by Reba Mcentire. It's a cover of a song by a band I can't remember the name of but it's an amazing rendition. Or you can buy the EP entitled "Love Revival" at Hallmark I think.
Enjoy this shit y'all.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Delicious
I know you all are so used to fancy headers done in photoshop but as I have a new computer and no access to photoshop as of right now I resorted to making the newest header in Paint. I know, how ghetto this is I fully realize that. But, I was fucking tired of that old one. So, this is what you get bitches.
Also as a sidenote in the past twenty four hours I have eaten an entire pound of cherry flavored pull and peel Twizzlers. Someone stop me.
Also as a sidenote in the past twenty four hours I have eaten an entire pound of cherry flavored pull and peel Twizzlers. Someone stop me.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Hot Shit of the Month Janurary 2008
It's that time of the month again bitches, time for me to list my favorite things and for all of you to clamor for them like Britney for her children...and pharmaceutical medications. I was asked to list some of my favorite movies and such by a friend so I'll start off with that.
First of all the must see show as of right now for me is deffinitely Ugly Betty.
At first I thought that this show like so many others was the same old story of "let's take a beautiful girl in real life (in this case America Ferrara) and make her appear to be ugly, and then place her in a fish out of water scenario and watch the hilarity ensue!" But it's actually so much more than that, I mean sure it is that, but there's more beneath the surface. It's sweet, and funny, and an over the top soap opera. It includes a in depth look into the world of fashion, and even a transsexual. So, you know it's good. You should either buy it at your local DVD retailler, or you should just watch it here for free at Online TV Dramas. I'm not saying that I'm advocating this blatant visual theft of the show...or the WGA but still it's worth it. Trust me on this one, it's a winner.
Also, a show I wasn't expecting to like but actually have come to almost enjoy is the CW's "Gossip Girl". I know that it's a pretty gay thing to admit, but I was curious. I had a read a few of the books that my sister had left lying around the house (as I am likely to read almost anything with pages that lies around the house for any amount of time), and I was pleasently surprised with the books as well as the show. This show is the basic rehash of a whole lot of really attractive young people at the same school, having sex, and lying about it to eachother. But also there's some pretty good drama and comedy in the midst too. All around a pretty decent way to waste a Thursday night.
As far as movies go I just recently saw "Juno" (Which I had originally posted the movie poster of, but it's fucked up the formating) with abformentioned friend and although I wasn't terribly disapointed, I wasn't enthralled either. I would say that if you're into quiry comedies about real life situations then this movie might be for you. It actually had a bit too much Jennifer Garner for my tastes, but then again even movies without Jennifer Garner in them have a bit too much Jennifer Garner for my tastes. Now I wouldn't say that the movie felt like the performers were acting on a "high wire" like the movie poster states but whatever. Allison Janey is in this as the dog loving step mother, and she is amazing so it's worth seeing just for her.
As for a list of movies I just love as of recently old ones included this list would go as such:
"Saved" starring Mandy Moore
"The First Wives Club" starring a lot of amazing people
"Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix" okay, I have to admit this movie is actually really boring, but it's Harry Potter so it's a good value.
As far as music goes, I have recently gotten a new computer and although this is amazing I have lost all of my music. Seriously, all of it. So my music is pretty limited to what I hear on the radio as of right now. Although for a few classics you should try out:
"Queen Killer" by Queen
"Do Right Woman - Do Right Man" Aretha Franklin
"Would it be Nice?" - The Beach Boys
And for a sweet song from a guy I've never listened to before try "With You" by Chris Brown. And although it shares it's title with a Jessica Simpson song, don't hate on it yet it's actually a good value.
Well, okay bitches thats it for this month. Watch, listen, and enjoy.
First of all the must see show as of right now for me is deffinitely Ugly Betty.
At first I thought that this show like so many others was the same old story of "let's take a beautiful girl in real life (in this case America Ferrara) and make her appear to be ugly, and then place her in a fish out of water scenario and watch the hilarity ensue!" But it's actually so much more than that, I mean sure it is that, but there's more beneath the surface. It's sweet, and funny, and an over the top soap opera. It includes a in depth look into the world of fashion, and even a transsexual. So, you know it's good. You should either buy it at your local DVD retailler, or you should just watch it here for free at Online TV Dramas. I'm not saying that I'm advocating this blatant visual theft of the show...or the WGA but still it's worth it. Trust me on this one, it's a winner.
Also, a show I wasn't expecting to like but actually have come to almost enjoy is the CW's "Gossip Girl". I know that it's a pretty gay thing to admit, but I was curious. I had a read a few of the books that my sister had left lying around the house (as I am likely to read almost anything with pages that lies around the house for any amount of time), and I was pleasently surprised with the books as well as the show. This show is the basic rehash of a whole lot of really attractive young people at the same school, having sex, and lying about it to eachother. But also there's some pretty good drama and comedy in the midst too. All around a pretty decent way to waste a Thursday night.
As far as movies go I just recently saw "Juno" (Which I had originally posted the movie poster of, but it's fucked up the formating) with abformentioned friend and although I wasn't terribly disapointed, I wasn't enthralled either. I would say that if you're into quiry comedies about real life situations then this movie might be for you. It actually had a bit too much Jennifer Garner for my tastes, but then again even movies without Jennifer Garner in them have a bit too much Jennifer Garner for my tastes. Now I wouldn't say that the movie felt like the performers were acting on a "high wire" like the movie poster states but whatever. Allison Janey is in this as the dog loving step mother, and she is amazing so it's worth seeing just for her.
As for a list of movies I just love as of recently old ones included this list would go as such:
"Saved" starring Mandy Moore
"The First Wives Club" starring a lot of amazing people
"Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix" okay, I have to admit this movie is actually really boring, but it's Harry Potter so it's a good value.
As far as music goes, I have recently gotten a new computer and although this is amazing I have lost all of my music. Seriously, all of it. So my music is pretty limited to what I hear on the radio as of right now. Although for a few classics you should try out:
"Queen Killer" by Queen
"Do Right Woman - Do Right Man" Aretha Franklin
"Would it be Nice?" - The Beach Boys
And for a sweet song from a guy I've never listened to before try "With You" by Chris Brown. And although it shares it's title with a Jessica Simpson song, don't hate on it yet it's actually a good value.
Well, okay bitches thats it for this month. Watch, listen, and enjoy.
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Missing Piece
I lived my childhood like every hairbrush, and remote control was a microphone. Like every flat surface was a stage hoping that one day I too would be under the bright lights and heavy stares.
I lived my teenage years like energy was going out of style. I was always the loudest, and the most excited. Like every day was a new possibility and hoping that one day that someone would see me for who I really was and not just their preconcieved notions of me.
Now, I live my life like I'm afraid of something, like I'm afraid of everything. Like any minute life as I know it will change again. Like any minute now something horrible is going to befall me, and I won't know how to handle it. I don't have the dreams I once had, and I don't have the energy I once possessed. Sometimes I feel like I'm only half of my former self. LIke I'm the circle in "The Missing Piece" (by Shel Silverstein) Like I'm rolling around life without a purpose or a meaning, just searching for that part of my life that I'm not sure how I lost, or if I'll ever find again, just hoping that someday I will.
I lived my teenage years like energy was going out of style. I was always the loudest, and the most excited. Like every day was a new possibility and hoping that one day that someone would see me for who I really was and not just their preconcieved notions of me.
Now, I live my life like I'm afraid of something, like I'm afraid of everything. Like any minute life as I know it will change again. Like any minute now something horrible is going to befall me, and I won't know how to handle it. I don't have the dreams I once had, and I don't have the energy I once possessed. Sometimes I feel like I'm only half of my former self. LIke I'm the circle in "The Missing Piece" (by Shel Silverstein) Like I'm rolling around life without a purpose or a meaning, just searching for that part of my life that I'm not sure how I lost, or if I'll ever find again, just hoping that someday I will.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
FUCK SHIT GODDAMN
I would just also like to add that in case none of you were aware "Postarita" is actually considered an "offensive" site under Windows Vista Parental Conrtols. I'm assuming that the words "bitch" and "fuck" are not child friendly according to Microsoft?
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