Monday, December 11, 2006

A Modest Proposal

Today I made my first credit card purchase, I guess that's a milestone. But to be honest I would have rather it had not happened. I just spent three hundred dollars on four brand new tires that I don't even want. Let me drive that home to you, three hundred dollars is enough to by so many more things that are more necessary to sustain life for instance you could buy a brand new beagle puppy for fifty dollars less than it costs for four brand new tires. You could buy a sparkling new ipod, or alternatively you could stay two nights in a fabulous hotel suite in the Orlando Florida Hilton Hotel. You could even buy a night of passionate love from yours truly (before taxes of course).
All these things asside however, I've come with a solution to our biggest problem: money. We need to get rid of all money and go back to the bartering system. But, instead of trading with scraps of metal or our virgin daughters I think we should barter with important things; like love. For instance I'm sure that there is someone in this world who had four perfectly good tires for a ninety six jeep cherokee, that they would have been more than willing to give me for either a year of friendship or a week of passionate sex. I'd be willing to do either if it means that I don't have to pay three hundred dollars for some motherfucking tires.