Sunday, November 27, 2005

Trust me on this one.

I've decided that if you really want your life to be complete, you must see the major motion picture: Rent.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Maybe you should rethink that:

The next time you go on a speil about "making nice", and being "offended because I can't be around you", maybe you should think first. How can you be offended, when the first time you get the chance there you are talking about me again? The next time you talk to my sister, and wish her happy birthday remember that you have no right to say nice things to her, when you're only saying bad things about me. Remember that at the end of the day, your words don't mean a thing. But, what do I know? I'm just immature. Let me start by telling you that peice of information I passed on to one of our friends, wasn't exaggerated by me, it was exaggerated by the source. If I had known that, I probably wouldn't have even said anything. I just told him because I thought you were on another one of your malicious tirades to hurt someone else. And if you think for a second that posting things of me singing is going to "ruin my life" then think again. I couldn't care any less. If you feel like that's what you need to do, do it. It's been almost a year,maybe you should grow up and move on. Seriously, I don't care if you have a new boyfriend you're clearly still hung up. Seriously, I have said this so many times, but I just want to live my life without you in it. If that means me being "immature" by not wanting to be around you, then you should respect that. If I have no desire to be around you, it's only because of the things you do. Your immaturity only proves me right. So keep on, keep it up. Two can play this game, but I can promise you I won't.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Okay, Fess Up.

Thanks again to Sitemeter, I now know that someone from Washington, Louisiana has been reading my site almost DAILY. Let me drive this point home to you, I didn't even know there was a Washington, Louisiana until I read this. So, since you're so into reading this site, I definitely think you should just fess up and leave a comment so I can know who you are, and maybe you can tell me where the hell Washington, Louisiana is.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I'm just curious.

When I came home tonight as I walked through the kitchen to make my way into the office, I stumbled upon something large in the darkness. I flicked on the lights quickly to make sure it wasn't a dead body or anything equally terrifying, only to reveal a treadmill. Now the question arises, why is there a treadmill by our refrigerator? Is this some kind of new family diet regimen that I am not privy to or something?

Have A Joyous Day Of Birth

Today my younger sister is turning seventeen, and this makes me happy to no end. Because for every year she turns older the more we get along. The two of us have steadily becoming friends with the passing months as we both grow up little by little. If you had asked me five, or even two years ago if I ever thought me and my sister would get along I would have replied to the negative. Though now, I can't imagine not being close to her. I really like finding out new things about her, and seeing how she turns out. I can't wait to see how her friendships work out, and when she falls in love, and experiences all life has to offer her. I wish the world for her, I really do.

So that being said, Happy Birthday MFG.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Post Rita: I'm still living in the dark ages.

Remember that whole hurricane Rita thing? You know the one, gigantic storm that completely ruined my life for an entire calendar month? Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about. Well, since that time and now everything has become basically normal again, except for one minor detail. I have been living approximately two months without any ice in my house. May I remind you that, I have had the internet back for these same two months? As well as cable, running water, and bowel functions. Not that I wasn't having those or anything, I just really felt like saying it. Anyhow, I have been drinking luke warm beverages for the past sixty days. Not because people who go through hurricanes, can no longer make ice or anything because of the odd weather conditions and the air pressures or anything. It's just because our ice machine has yet to start working since then. And what does my family do? Do we call a refrigerator repairman? No, of course not. Do we try to fix it ourselves? Of course not. We just wait it out. So until then I will be drinking room temperature drinks for the rest of my days.


I received the best compliment of my life yesterday. Of course a good compliment for me would be something like "Hey Jordan, you don't look like complete shit today!" Though, this compliment completely blew that one away. I'll just have you know that according to this person, I have (and I quote) "The voice of an angel." Let me put that all in caps for you to drive the point home: "ACCORDING TO A FRIEND OF MINE, I HAVE THE VOICE OF ANGEL."

And, really if that doesn't make life worth living, then what exactly prey tell, does?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

In tune

I knew that I'm finally in tune with the romantic in me when I woke up with just one thought this morning: "I'm ready to fall back into love."

Friday, November 11, 2005

In other news:

Over two hundred readers and still practically no comments. Come on people, show the love.

I promised

When I started Post-A-Rita, I promised myself not to show too much actual emotion on it. I promised myself that I wouldn't turn into the whinny bitch that I actually am, and just write about funny and ironies. I can't hold myself back anymore, I don't care if I embarrass myself or show too much. I really just can't care anymore.

So that said, I'd like to say that I can see you in public without that sinking sensation in my stomach anymore. I don't feel like the world has just been ripped out from under my feet. I don't feel like I can't speak, or breathe anymore. You no longer have that affect on me. I really, truly, am alright now. In every sense of the word. I'm growing as a student, as a writer, and hopefully as a human being. Yet, it's almost been an entire calendar year and it all still feels like yesterday. And I can't have a conversation with anyone without your name coming up, and usually not even by myself. And I hate that. I don't feel like being connected to your existence anymore. I wish people would just forget that it ever happened, and pretend that you and me were never anything so they don't feel the need to bring it up every five minutes. And though I still hear new things about myself that were said by you from other people at least once a week, I don't do that anymore. I don't talk about you, because I don't care. And the other day when I saw you at the place you work, I thought about coming up to you and saying "Hello, how are you?" But I couldn't bring myself to do it, thinking that you might just sneer at me and laugh. I don't have time for immaturity, or snide remarks anymore. And though I'm sorry for calling you "sir" that one time, I know that you wouldn't think twice of doing something similar. In fact, I know you didn't because all of your former friends have mouths, and all of their mouths report straight to me.

But anyways, don't read that if you don't want to. I'm not even sure why I wrote it, I just needed to get it out. I promise you won't see me whine anymore. Really, I swear.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

A different take

I realized something today. If you really hate someone, if you really can't stand them. If everything about them just pisses you off and makes you want to lock them in a room and force them to listen to "With You" by Jessica Simpson for the rest of eternity, there's really only one solution. Sit them down, and tell them to talk. And as you listen to their entire life story, even if it bores you half to death, and makes you wish for a sudden hurricane to come sweep them into a swirling vertex of death; you'll like them a little more or at the very least hate them a little less by the end. And if that isn't life changing, then I don't really know what it is.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Thanks to Site Meter:

Again thanks to sitemeter, I now know that two days ago my site was very popular in Canada. To any Canadians that are reading this, I hope you enjoy my site, now can you please take back Celine Dion and Shania Twain? Please?

I was thinking and:

Well, like I said I was thinking about it and I think that stop signs are really just a suggestion. Kind of like "Well I mean you really should at least pause, but if it's dark outside and no one's around no one's going to judge you."

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Him: "I think the world should just have a big orgy."
Me: "Oh is that so?"
Him: "Yeah and I could join in, because I'm part of this world."

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Just in case you were curious:

"I Love New York" by Madge is the song of the moment and will continue to be so for the next decade or five.

I am outraged:

I am ninteen years of age, which means I should be having sex filled nights of debauchery. Doesn't it? I'm pretty sure that it does. Well you want to know what my wild Friday night consisted of? I went to a bar for the first time, and instead of getting liqoured up and going home with a complete stranger, I sat at a table in the very, very, very back with an Asian. The "craziest" thing we did was request "I'm A Slave 4 U" on the jukebox, in a room filled with drunk men. So instead of getting slammered (Said Asian's word, not mine) we left and proceeded to go get chicken tenders. Wow. I'm wild.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Oh My God.

I just received the one piece of news today that is going to send me into a downward spiral of depression and overeating. Do you realize that two people that I graduated with are getting married? Like actually married, with rings, and dresses, and alcohol. And get this: She's not even knocked up. Although I wouldn't really be surprised if she had been, this girl from my recollection was a big old whore. Let me remind all of you, that I only graduated two years ago, let me spell that out for you: WE ARE IN THE PRIME OF OUR LIVES, WE DO NOT HAVE TO GET MARRIED TO VALIDATE OURSELVES. Seriously, I mean really come on you're kind of just asking for a divorce, aren't you? Seriously. But the most harrowing part of all of this is that, these two people that are the same age as me are getting married, and I haven't dated anyone in almost a year, there's so not a God. Seriously, that's all I have to say about that.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I'm sorry but...

The weather is finally turning cold outside, so be that as it may I'm going to attempt to bring to your attention a growing epidemic that is sweeping the nation: Nipples. Sure you'll say, "But Jordan everyone has a pair, what's the big deal?" I'll tell you what's the big deal. The weather is cold, and believe it or not your nipples know it. Try to hide it from them as you may, but seriously they're not that stupid. They realize that the weather is reaching freezing points, and they know how to salute. So please do me a favor slutty girl in Nebraska, and you overweight Magic card playing nerd: cover them up. A bra, a jacket, your arms. Anything will do really, as long as they don't have to be assaulting my eyes, I'm cool with it. Seriously. Ask your brother, your mom, your drug dealer; they'll all tell you the same thing. Put those nipples away.