Thursday, February 22, 2007

A Jordan by any other name would just sound stupid...

So, I've been training at my new job right? And apparently Jordan isn't a common name or something, because so far I've been called every thing but my actual name. I've been called buddy, man, dude, guy, and my personal favorite: boss. My name is Jordan, nothing less nothing more. I'm not your buddy, I'm not your dude, I'm not your friend. I'm Jordan, and you can call me as such, and if you'd rather not then don't call me anything, make my life less stupid and just leave me alone. Although even though I hate being called anything other than my actual name, I don't mind the whole "boss" thing so bad. I am your boss bitch, bow down. Bow Down.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I'm Ready To Be Extraordinary

Just when I think my life is becoming somewhat stable again. New job, less drama, more time with people I love more than anything in the world. Britney Spears has to go shave her head and put herself in rehab. If you know me at all, you know that I have perhaps an unhealthy addiction to anything and everything Britney Spears. I want her to release music, and dance, and do backflips, and stop having babies, and maybe stop drinking, but most of all I just want her to be happy. Like I said, if you know me at all, you know my dreams, and you know my aspirations. Well Britney Spears is like the pinnacle to me, the lowly hometown girl who had a dream, who made it happen who let it get to her, who had things happen to her that she didn't plan on. I don't want that to ever be me. I dont' want to wake up one day and wonder how the hell I got there. I want to know what my life will turn out like instead of all this damn uncertainty all the time. And I guess at the end of the day all of that cluelessness and restlessness and sleepless nights, are what make life, life. But to me it would just be easier to know what's coming up, to what's going on, to see the bigger picture instead of the tiny snapshots of yesterday and today, and last week. I want to know that I'll fall in love, and be successful, and be blessed with all the things that make a otherwise ordinary life, extraordinary. I am ready to be extraordinary, I don't think I can just exsist anymore. I have to BE. I have to be something better than just me.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


I'm the kind of boy who runs from his problems. I duck and I hide. I break up with people when I think it's getting hard, I stop talking to friends when we get into an argument. I ignore my own problems in hopes that they will all go away. I now wish that I knew how to be different. Now that my whole world feels like it's collapsing in on my head I wish I knew how to stand up and change, to stand up and fight, instead of just running away, acting like that scared little child that deep down I still am.

I just wish I was different.