Friday, August 29, 2008

Smaller Bites

I haven't been posting here a lot lately, because I haven't had any big stories to tell. But I do find that I've had a lot of small little snippets of stupid that don't really fit into a larger portrait of idiocy. Though, I'd still like to share them with you anyway just to get you through the day.

About a week ago, I broke my glasses and instead of going to the Eye Doctor because he's approximately four hundred years old and makes me nervous when he brings his arthritic hands near my eyeballs. Instead I took the lazy route, and just went out and bought the first pair I could find that that fit my current lenses. Now I'm stuck with a pair that very closely resemble Tina Fey's circa 1999. Also a little bit of Lisa Loeb. It's not a good look let me tell you.

I've recently spent a very confusing forty five minutes of my life looking for my Grandmother's teeth. Turns out she flushed them down the toilet. And although she very much tried to persuade me to take apart the toilet to retrieve them, I had to sadly explain to her that they were now far gone into the septic system. Now they're being shit upon by a turtle in some far away ditch. This kind of made me sad.

I have spent far too much time and energy reading articles on Wikipedia. If you know me even a little you'd know that I soak up pointless information just for fun. I revel in knowing completely inane trivia about movies, and actors and singers for absolutely no reason at all. I'll pretty much read anything if it's sits still long enough. I think this may be my one and only weakness.

I've been trying to pack for the upcoming HURRICANE EVACUATIONPALOOZA 2008. And I can't bring myself to focus for more than five minutes at a time. Every time I try to find an important paper, or a photo I get lost in the years of Jordan detritus that clutter my room. For instance I found my old Nintendo system and then I had to play it for two hours. I could barely control myself. And when I'm not busy playing 1980s video games I'm finding remnants of past friendships and people long gone. I'm finally realizing that you cant' always run away from these things. You can throw away pictures, and old letters, and birthday cards and gifts but there will always be something that remains. You can never truly do away with anything or anyone. It's sadmaking.

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