Thursday, March 19, 2009

Broken/Open

Today was a bad day. My disco ball, the one relic I kept from my parents restaurant after it closed, shattered in a million pieces on the floor. Apple refused to fix my ipod even though it was broken by no fault of my own. Things are breaking all around me. Not just the material things, sometimes I think that maybe I too am broken. Unable to love, unable to be loved, unable to be serious even for a moment, unable to be anyone other than myself. It's a hard thing to admit to myself, that I'll never be anything more than I already am. And eventually, I'll keep trying to be something that I am clearly not, that I'll just bend until I break too. I just want someone to help me pick up the pieces. I just want someone to give me a chance.

1 comment:

Nomad said...

Hey Jordon, I hope things are going better since you last posted. I always know I am on the wrong side of the blues when I start seeing life long patterns. I hope you won't make that mistake too. The only advice (unsolicited, I know) is to do your best NOT to be too introspective and try to reach out and forget yourself for awhile. If all else fails, go someplace and have a good eye wash. Think of it as a cathartic release or an emotional reset button.