Thursday, May 03, 2007

I used to.

I used to have some friends who I loved. I loved to see them laugh, and to make them laugh. I used to like our hours of conversation on the telephone. I used to cherish things, and I used to believe in friendship that lasts forever. And I used to believe that I would always feel that way. I don't think I feel that way anymore. I used to be a punching bag, and a sad excuse. I used to be a walking joke, and a free therapist. I used to be a call away and a "Hey drop the rest of your life and pay attention to me" kind of person. I used to be tried and true, loyal to the core. I used to think I'd never be alright if something happened. But that is who I used to be. I'm not the same person that I used to be. I'm not that person who will run back to you when you change your mind. I'm not that person who forgives and forgets. I'm not that person who can put the past behind me and move on with our lives and a new friendship. I'm just not that Jordan anymore. But I used to be, and you took that away from me. And for that I will never forgive you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i used to think u were my best friend i couldn't live without. i used to rely on our hour talks on the phone. i used to take your advice before anyones. no one is going to come running back to you. i was planning on letting you know how serious i was and get through the struggles together to make our relationship stronger after u realized u need to stop saying i'm always going to be this way and will never change instead of deciding u do care enough to change for the people u love. reality hit when i told u i was mad because u never listened when i was mad and just walked away from the problem and thought i would forget; and when i told u this, u walked away yet again for the last time. every other person in the group was contacted repeatedly to resolve the problems, except for me! but "i was the only one you really missed" which is coincidental since, u told son the same thing. well i hope since u always lied about your parents not letting u out of the house; i hope their happy that their 21 year old son now spends all his time with them. u never realize how much u love someone until their gone. u also never realize how much more u cared about that person than they did until they let their true feelings show.