Saturday, July 07, 2007

The History of Sex

So my father was sleeping on the couch, as he usually does. And the t.v. was on and blaring at it usually does. The History channel was tuned in, as it usually is. I was on the computer as I almost always am. There was a program on, as there usually is, but this time it was different. This time it was entitled "The History of Sex" which it usually isn't. I'm barely listening to it, as I usually do, and bits and pieces reach my ears. But then suddenly something happens. Something terrible, but amazing. This was said, and I quote:

"In the Victorian ages, all men were aroused by anything that could be considered a "limb". This included tables which had "legs". And this is why table skirts were created in this age to stop men from being tempted to have sexual intercourse with their furniture."

I shit you not, they actually said that. I need not tell you how giddy this made me.


Kelli said...

Are you sure? I watched that program before and definitely never heard that part.

Damn, that's disgusting. I bet the writers were sitting at a table together, laughing, saying, "Dude, look what I wrote. Isn't that fucking hilarious? Look, now I'm writing that they wanted to fuck the table legs. I'm totally writing it. Okay, I'm going to leave it in there and just see if the documentary guy says anything. No, I'm serious! Two hundred dollars says they don't even notice."

Jordan said...

You're right that must be EXACTLY how it happened.

But yeah they said it but you may not have noticed it because they said it as one of those like "fun facts!" right before they cut to commercial. Like it even had giant text about it on the screen. No joke. I hope that guy one his two hundred dollars, because he's my hero.