There is a reason why people don't generally blog every single day. ALL CONVERSATIONAL TOPICS HAVE BEEN EXPENDED. Anything worth talking about has been talked about at least seventeen times. So instead, I'll just thank my friend Firefly for bestowing upon me a blogger award. Apparently I am now supposed to list seven facts about myself.
1. I do not eat anything that is white. This rule mostly applies to mayonnaise, ranch dressing, and whipped cream. It's not so much a color thing as it is a consistency problem. Also every time I see someone eating one of those foodstuff it ends up on their mouths and it makes me want to die.
2. I have a completely random blond streak of hair. It is natural, and no matter how often my hair gets cut it just keeps coming back.
3. I am absolutely horrible at meeting new people. I almost always say something incredibly offensive, which is fine with people who already know I'm an idiot, but doesn't exactly make a great first impression.
4. I have catchphrases such as, "What the What?!?', and "You're doing a bang up job".
5. I once read a nine hundred page book in under five hours. It was my crowning achievement.
6. I once applied for a job as a boat captain, just to be funny. Then they kept calling me to try to set up an interview, and I started to feel bad. See? Not all my bits are good.
7. I have been single for over five years (Oh my God, I am going to die alone).
Now I'm supposed to pass the award to seven other bloggers, but I think we all know that I'm the only blogger out there worthy of any kind of award. (But in reality if you want to know which bloggers I think are awesome, check out my links.)
3 comments:
This is the funniest thing I read all day: "I once applied for a job as a boat captain, just to be funny. Then they kept calling me to try to set up an interview, and I started to feel bad." I had no idea. Hilarious. (By the way, not EVEN kidding, the "comment moderation captcha" thing I had to type in to complete this comment is "retard." Way to be completely offensive, Internet.
I never told you about that? There was an ad in the American Press and Son Tran dared me to apply. He also did the same thin with Big Brother, Big Sister who still call me from time to time.
I wish that I could say that I programmed my own captchas to say that, but sadly no.
Post a Comment